New Games, New Plans, New Jeans

In the car this morning, Kate yelled, "Mom! There's a . Go! Run! Run! GO car, GO FAST! Gogogogogogo." Hmm. I'm not sure if I'm more pleased that she's pretending or more concerned that she's pretending something is chasing us, and we need to escape.

We also had a very interesting discussion this weekened about whales and fish. I was trying to explain that they're similar, but not the same. When I told her both live in the water, she freaked out and has since kept all her whales and fish far away from me, assumedly to prevent me from dumping them in the toilet, or something.

So we're going to take her to Sea World. When I suggested it to Bobby, he asked if we could take a week and make a road trip out of it. So, this August, we're planning to go to Sea World in San Antonio, drive down through Houston, stopping to visit (and maybe a day at the beach..?), and then into Louisiana to Bobby's family in Lafayette. We'll leave Katie with her grandparents, and go to New Orleans by ourselves for a day. I'm really excited. I wish we could do it in the spring, but oh well. Houston and southern Louisiana are awfully humid in August, but there are worse things, right? (*cough*NO*cough*)

My picture today is me the last time we went to San Antonio, when I was about 4 months pregnant. I wasn't in many of the photos from that trip (otherwise I'd have posted one from Sea World). This trip will be different.

NSVs today!

Last night, I jogged for 5 minutes. It started at the same pace I usually speed walk during our "sprint" but I got it up another .5mph for the last 90 seconds! I felt it in my legs the rest of the evening, and it was wonderful.

Today, I am wearing new jeans. (New as in retrieved from the closet of Paige's old sizes.) I showed Bobby, and he gave me a big hug and told me how great he thinks I am doing. I tried on some other ones too, and they fit, but not quite right. They're too short! I must've gotten taller as well as slimmer. =)

Edit: Forgot! I accidentally trimmed off half an eyebrow this morning. I couldn't believe it. Bobby suggested trimming the other one so they'd match. Note to self, no powered grooming when half awake!

Little Update

I'm down exactly 2 lbs this week. Squee! I'm an extra hour of hard sweat away from the 160s, so if I'm there at my next weigh-in, I'm counting it as in the 160s by February.

Speaking of which, January flew by! Goodness. February marks 8 years of Bobby and me rubbing along together, and I'm trying to start saving up in hopes that for our tenth unofficial anniversary, we can afford a honeymoon. Bobby has already cleared leaving Katie with his parents for up to a week, and we want to go to Alaska. We had $7K saved for a trip to Europe once upon a time; we can save it again. (We had to bail his mom out of an expensive mistake, and then I got laid off and pregnant [simultaneously], so we didn't go, but the point is, we CAN save money if we try.)

I think I'm registered for the 5K mud run, but not positive. I ended up doing it over the phone, but I haven't received a confirmation. I may call again later to make sure I'm official. I don't want any sort of easy out. I'm trying to talk one of the other women in my office into doing it with me. I emailed her the flyer, and she looked at me like I was nuts when I went to ask her about it. "Mud, Paige? Really? You want me to wade through mud?" She said she'd think about it though. I think the mud is the fun part; I'm worried about the rope wall!

I have my treadmill class tonight. Afterwards, I'm going to plan out my strength building routine. I have 12 weeks and 5 days to prepare.

Being Brave

I have been playing with the idea of doing a 5K for a little while, but my big hang up is that I don't really like running. Participating in a race just seems silly. I have family and friends that have done the Tough Mudder, and I've been interested, but blew it off, because obviously I can't do that.

Right now, I'm really trying to challenge the things I think I can and can't do. Why not? It's a 5K with dirt! (Okay, Tough Mudder is more than that, but there's versions suitable to beginners.) I'm almost doing 5K on a treadmill 3 days a week now. Today, a google offer popped up on my phone for a mud run in Dallas, and I bought it. On April 28th, I'm doing this. I'm going to bust my a** until then so I'm not last.

Now to figure out how to redeem the stupid thing...

Feeling a Bit Better

Not only did I not go to book club or the gym, I went home from work early, gasp. So much sinus pressure, and my Aleve Cold and Sinus wasn't making a dent. Every time I turned my head the slightest bit, everything inside swam around and it took a second for my vision to realign. I went home and fell right into bed, and slept straight through the time I was supposed to go get Katie. Luckily, Bobby assumed I wouldn't get her when I wasn't feeling well and picked her up. She was so excited about Dad coming to get her, she wasn't too upset about waiting an extra 45 minutes.

Today is better, though not great. Even with my nap yesterday I’m tired, and my stomach was upset this morning. Work hasn't been too crazy this week, so I came back to less than 100 emails and have mostly caught up already. It was rainy again this morning, but it’s clearing out. Right now, the wind is howling around the building, making very mournful sounds.

My mom sent me a text letting me know the book club selection: Good Omens, by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman. It's the second book in a row that I've already read and wasn't wild about the first time around. I reread The Hunger Games; it was entertaining, even if I wasn't thrilled by it the first time. Good Omens, though? Meh. Do not want. I've felt pretty lukewarm about everything I've read the last couple months, though. I'm in a book rut! It's awful! I need something new to read, but between sci-fi/fantasy, mystery, supernatural chick fiction, romance, non-genre fiction, and non-fiction, what am I missing? Anyone have some recommendations?

I’m hungry today. I went for easy breakfast over filling breakfast, and I’m regretting it now. Usually it’s at least another hour before I start in on my fruit. I brought squash and cauliflower to steam for lunch, though, so I’ll be good if I can just go easy on the munching until then.

Rainy Day

I LOVE rainy days. Texas does them right, too. Dark and gray and consistent waves of drizzle to downpour. Thunder and lighting, oh my! Ahh, it make my insides smile. (Anyone read Eat, Pray, Love? With the bit about smiling with every bit of yourself? Smile with your kidneys! Love that imagery.)

Unfortunately, one of the downpour stages hit yesterday just as I was running Kate out from daycare, and I got completely soaked putting her in the car. I kept her dry though! I turned on the heat and the car, and hurried home to strip, but it definitely didn't help the war on my cold. I spoke to Bobby briefly about something that came up with the stepvan lease, and afterwards, he sent me a text asking if I was okay because I sound awful. I'm definitely firmly in the grasp of this headcold. Ugh.

Tonight is my bookclub, and I'm kind of thinking about skipping it. I thoroughly enjoy it usually, but I don't want to get everyone sick. It usually goes pretty late, too, and I know I need the sleep. But if I don't go, I have to wait a whole month before the next one. And I want to know everyone's thoughts on the teenage battle royale. (We read The Hunger Games this month.) Grumble, grumble. I probably will skip it, but if I do... should I go to my class at the gym?

I just want to sleep! Maybe I can go a little early today (if I am a very good girl?) and nap an hour or so before I need to get Katie.

Ooooh, thunder.

I've Lost my Bowling Ball

I had a good weigh-in, so I'm starting with that. I weighed in today, because I couldn't get a consistant read on my scale yesterday. I intended to buy a new one this weekend, but I forgot. So! Today! I got a false read with in the 160's! Inaccurate, yes, but it's the first time the margin of error has been close enough to drop into that range. And my actual loss puts me .2 lbs into 10 lbs gone! That's how much my bowling ball weighs, and thinking about the heft of that thing GONE from my BODY is exciting.

Less exciting - I'm sick. Just a cold, but still cruddy. Bobby and Katie have already had it. In fact, we ended up not going out on the ATVs this weekend because Katie was running a temperature over 101 most of Saturday. It ended up being super windy and dusty, though; my mom said it wasn't much fun even with goggles and full face masks.

I worked really hard at the gym yesterday, because I'm missing my class for book club tomorrow. Tonight I think I'm going to go home and sleep, but I'm going to do Wii Fit on Thursday to try and balance it out. (Hear that self? It's on the web, so now you have to do it!)

I wasn't very good in terms of food the last couple days. I'm pushing to hit 50 in Star Wars: The Old Republic, because I'm supposed to start leading raids on Saturday. I've gone from 41 to 48 since Friday playing only when Katie is asleep, which means that I have not gotten much sleep. I drank more Coke Zero this weekend than I have in the last 2 months and I'm a terrible snacker at the keyboard. This is probably a contributing factor to me being brought low by the cold at last. (It's been teasing at my immune system for a couple weeks, but I was holding it off.)

With that said, however, not very good is still miles better than what I would have considered not very good six months ago. Most of my desktop snacks were fresh fruit. The "bad" lunch, I had a baked potato smothered in veggies, and I considered it a splurge item! That's progress, people. I also had an enormous sugar cookie, but I split it over three days, rather than eating that with my lunch AND a Coke I would have refilled to take home. (I love fountain soda, but I limit myself to about one a month now. No refills.)

Friday Five: Big Band and Decisions

Five things I’m thinking about today:

1) Swing/Big Band music makes me happy. I know already Bobby wouldn’t take lessons with me, but I wonder if there are classes for partnerless people? That would be a good thing for me to practice being brave on.

2) I’m stuck. David has been pretty unwilling to do anything but pay lipservice to my advancement inquiries, so I still don’t know anything more about the position in India or the self-review I turned in last week. I’m thinking about going to the office director, but he’s intimidating as hell, and I don’t want David **** at me. The CFO reads and comments on every single one of them, though, so theoretically I’ll get some feedback eventually. Or get fired.

3) Bobby’s feeling better, so the 4-wheeling outing with my parents is back on, and I’m torn about whether or not to go. A good trip is relaxing and awesome. A bad trip is stressful and so not what I need. I could play it safe and stay home or risk it and possibly have a great time. (Picture of one of the awesome trips.) It’s supposed to be beautiful this weekend (in the 70s), so I’m leaning towards going.

4) The dietician at my gym pushes unprocessed, all-natural, organic foods pretty hard. She also pushes supplements and meal replacement powders. There’s a gap here that I’m having trouble wrapping my head around, because protein powder and supplements are synthesized and processed to hell. It doesn’t seem to me that you can logically fully support both. I think processed foods aren’t ALL bad and supplements aren’t ALL good, but trying to decide how much of her advice I want to take is driving me nuts.

5) I go to the gym three days a week, but I don't do anything active the other days. I know I need to start adding in strength training in my core and arms, but, man, I am having a hard time doing it at home! One of the other blogs I read recommended a different game for the Wii Fit that’s a little more continuous exercise than the standard one, but I kind of want to know I can commit to doing something at home regularly before I invest in it more. How do you get yourself off the couch?

Ouch! ..Or Losing Arguments with Inanimate Objects

Last night was my double duty exercise night - Team and yoga. It was very close; Bobby was barely in time. I waited in the driveway and we swapped baby for car as soon as he pulled up. (I don't do both if I have Katie at the gym care center. Yoga goes past her bedtime.) Mom came late for Team; she thought the class was at 6:30 or 7, rather than 6. She says she's not ready for yoga.

I brought my own mat for yoga, which I've only done once before. I've had the mat since middle school, but I've only used it a few times and always on carpet. Using it at the gym, I've noticed serious slippage issues, and last night it felt like I didn't have any padding between my hands and the floor at all. My hands hurt more than any of my muscles. I struggled with it the whole vinyasa portion of the class. The gym's mats are kind of gross, and they stretch, making it hard to hold any positions that are open (lunges, warrior anything, downward dog). So I'm hunting for a mat solution.

And to follow with the post's theme; the feud with my scale continues! I like to monitor a little during the week, and I know I can fluctuate a lot, but 7 different numbers in 10 minutes is excessive. I'm so frustrated with it, I might have to buy a new one after kicking it across the room. (I've resisted so far, because it's heavy. I want to break it, not my foot.)

This morning, my truck door would not stay open, and it bruised my arm closing on me while I was turning to get Kate. Either the truck door or my mat struggle has my wrist aching today. We're planning to go ride ATVs this weekend, so I really hope it's better by then. Of course, Bobby's throwing up today, so maybe that's out anyway. (Food sick, not plague sick, he thinks.)

The boss man is munching through a bag of cool ranch Doritos and making me HUNGRY and the two oranges and mug of tea I just inhaled did nothing. Grumble. Should I hold on 'til lunch or make some popcorn?

Before I Jump In

I'm in a good mood this morning, so I want to post now, since the last couple haven't been so chipper.

I had a very good workout last night; my mom came! Afterwards, I got some solid quality time with my two favorite people, which always makes me happy. At the gym, I bought a protein shake shaker with a blender ball in it that works kind of like a wire whisk. I've made two protein drinks in it so far, and it worked as well as or better than my mini blender. Happy to have another easy breakfast option! (Though I've been enjoying my pre-cooked oatmeal, I haven't figured out the best freezing/reheating route.)

Work is already starting to chip away at the edges of my sanity, but I have a couple NSVs to share really fast.

The Saturday before last, my gym class instructor measured us for the official start of Team: Weight Loss. I've lost 3 inches around my waist and 1 inch each around my thighs and upper arms. Yay! Today, I'm comfortably wearing a pair of pants I haven't worn since just after I had Katie. (I was 15ish lbs below my pre-pregnancy weight the first week after she was born. I gained all that and a little extra back after I weaned her. I started this journey heavier than I was at the peak of my pregnancy.)

After my meltdown last week, I had a relatively calm weekend. I crashed right after Katie went to bed on Friday, and Bobby let me sleep in, so I got about 13 hours of (mostly) uninterrupted rest. I'm still feeling a little ragged around the edges, but I've mostly pulled myself together. I know I’m still closer to my limits than I’d like, and my hold on my temper is frayed, but I can smile when I don't mean it. I don't like when it's obvious I'm on edge, and pretty much everyone noticed and commented last week.

Saturday, my mom joined my gym, because she had high blood pressure at her annual exam last week. She has been considering it for a while, but explored cheaper options first and never went to any of them more than once or twice. She thinks if she is going with me, she might actually go. I talked her into joining my class as well, at least for the 2 months she got free with my referral.

Today was weigh-in, and I am happy with a 2.4 lb loss putting me at 173.4 (after a false read of 172, stupid scale). That means I've lost everything I gained in December, and a little extra. I also hit my 5% goal, and set my next one for 168 lbs. While I'm still ashamed of my behavior last week, I'm proud of myself for not trying to bury it with food.

When I got started with all this, I made a spreadsheet that calculates my loss so far and how much I need to lose next week to be on track for my ultimate goal of 58 lbs in 50 weeks. I know Weight Watchers advises against deadlines, but it's just a tool; I'm not going decide if I succeeded based on my weight on that date. Katie's second birthday was a huge catalyst for me, and I promised myself then that I would be in a better place by her third birthday. The small weekly goals really help motivate me to keep trying. This is my eleventh week - double the amount of time my last "diet" lasted.

I also made a little grid with a square for each pound I want to lose. I listed my milestone goals and marked them on the grid. Each week I cross off a box each pound lost and keep it in view on my desk. It's very satisfying to see my row of Xs. I think about how much I want to cross off another box or two next Monday, and it helps me turn down invitations to lunch and still-warm mall pretzels.

Ohoh! I also bought a pair of running shoes. Bobby has been pestering me a while to get a good pair designed specifically for walking/running. I'm excited to use them tonight.

My Heart Hurts

Bobby and I went back and forth about my going to Louisiana all day yesterday. I decided I would go, and he told me I should stay and work. When I decided to stay, he railed at me for that. Ultimately, I packed my stuff, we loaded up, and got on the road by about 6:20. I’d warned him when I got home that I was flat out of patience and had little hold on my temper, but it just seemed like he wouldn’t lay off of me. I know some (a lot) of it was me, but I just couldn’t find a way down. Katie ate her chicken for dinner, but did not want to go to sleep. Instead, she was shrieking randomly, and I got a little sharp with her, so Bobby got sharp with me.

Bobby kept saying he didn’t want to be around me if I was going to be like that the whole trip, and I really think I could have gotten myself under control with a bit of peace and quiet. Instead, I managed to make him mad enough that he turned around to go home. I tried to convince him to turn around a couple times, but he wouldn’t. I added guilt about making Bobby miss his grandmother’s funeral and tipped from insanely stressed out into full-on nervous breakdown and spent the next hour alternating crying and trying to calm down.

We had another HUGE fight about it this morning until I went over the edge and had an all-out temper tantrum, completely with screaming, throwing things, and stomping my feet. I have never felt such a crazy amount of emotional overload. It did, however, seem to help Bobby realize how crazy stressed out I feel, and we agreed we were equally at fault for his missing the funeral.

And then I cried the whole way to work.

Work is still stress factor 12, and I am just feeling exhausted. I had to fill out my annual performance self-review today, and I didn’t hold anything back about how I feel about the workload. I really don’t think it will make a difference, however, which is discouraging. I want to go home and sleep for a month, but the best I can do is probably going to bed after Katie is down for the night.                       

I'm Not Feeling it Today

Not anything; I'm just in a terrible mood. Work was pretty rough yesterday, and my boss told me this morning that our office is the only one of the five running over capacity and that, normally, a project like Boston would be assigned to three people to work on exclusively. (We're two people with twenty other hotels. No exaggeration, I counted my active project codes.) I'm not sure if he meant that to be encouraging (it's not our fault we can't keep up), but I mostly just found it frustrating. Why are we the only office overloaded? And in that office, why do we have a third more than anyone else?

After work tonight, we're driving down to Lafayette for the funeral tomorrow. I'm hoping we can come home tomorrow night, so I can work partial days Saturday and Sunday, because, hey, if I fall anymore behind on stuff, I'm going to start having panic attacks in the bathroom. Without the phones and email, I might even get more done than I would have been able to on Friday. Bobby seems to think I'm being an utter b**ch suggesting we only stay a day. His reaction was even worse when I said he could go alone and stay as long as he wanted and I could go to work. That got me a speech about "what it means to be married" that left me fuming.

Good workout last night; I was pleasantly sore when we were done. Bobby was at the mall buying dress pants, so I treated myself to Taco Bell after. I've been hardcore craving a burrito for weeks and it was delicious. I looked up the points before I picked and everything. Unfortunately, I didn't track the brownie I ate before I left work until this morning when I could look at the wrapper, and THAT turned out to be 6 points, so I dipped into my APs anyway.

I'm giving something I read on another blog a try. I swapped my settings to use APs first instead of weeklies. Then, each week, I give myself a dollar for every activity point left uneaten. (I'm on a budget, though, so I'm thinking my APs might only be worth 50 cents.) For people that eat their activity points and weeklies and still lose, it's probably not a good incentive, but I am not one of those people.                        

Tuesday, Right?

Only 8:30 am, and I've already had three little, "Crap, I forgot to do [Wednesday-specific task]!" moments. I'm thinking about running my payroll early just so I can stop freaking out about it. (Which backfires. I freaked out last week thinking I'd missed the window only to discover I'd done it the previous Friday to avoid missing it with the holiday.)

I am in a strangely good mood today. Yesterday we got an email about our annual "goals" that made me really mad. I'm all sorts of in favor of goals, if they are constructive and enriching. These are not, and we are already buried. I work unpaid overtime every week and still can't keep up, and they're giving us busywork. It's very frustrating. Especially when I'd already chosen a goal working towards something that WILL help me improve: finishing the Project Management course work. I really like to be cheerful though, so I'm clinging to it.

I'm also feeling guilty about the good mood, because Bobby's grandmother died last night. I feel bad for Bobby, of course. I know that if it was one of my grandparents, I'd be devastated. I did not know her well, but she was always nice to me. Bobby kept our marriage a secret for over a year, and I didn't even meet most of his family until I was 7 months pregnant, but Miss Loretta was incredibly welcoming. I was blown away by the obvious love she had for Bobby. So I'm trying to tone down my good mood and still feeling like a heartless b**ch. The picture on my blog today is Bobby's grandmother and Katie, taken in May 2010.

I had a really good workout last night. On Mondays, we meet with a nutritionist first, so the workout period is shorter. I can push myself a little harder without being afraid I'll run out of steam before the hour is up. Last night was the first time I managed to get my speed up to the level I was working at before I stopped holding on to the rails. Only for four minutes, but I was still happy with that.

More NSVs: I exchanged a men's XXL jacket I bought by mistake before Christmas. (Normally, I'd have gotten XL, but I wanted a L so it wouldn't be too huge next winter.) The store I took it back to only had a M, but I really wanted the jacket, so I got it figuring it would be fine unzipped. At home, I zipped it just to see and Bobby says, "I thought you said you looked like a sausage with it zipped? You look great!" Yay! This after my mom told me, "I can definitely tell there's less of you. I know you haven't officially lost much, but keep at it, because whatever you're doing looks good."

(PS - When I pulled up my facebook to find the picture, right at the top of my feed was a link to an article about an untreatable strain of TB in India. Gulp.)

8,806 Miles

I woke up this morning feeling good, but I think there’s a puddle of energy somewhere between my house and my office, because I’m crazy tired now. Maybe the weather? It was really dark coming in, so maybe my body thinks I deserved another hour of sleep. Don’t know. Do know I’m having a really hard time remembering where I left off with my POs last week.

I weighed in this morning. I hate my scale/bathroom floor. I hopped out of bed and right onto the scale this morning, then did a happy dance when I saw 174. I was super excited for a bunch of reasons. Then I went upstairs to go to the bathroom and get my Kate up, and then decided it couldn’t hurt to see if peeing had dropped me down another tenth. (My 5% goal is 173.9, so caring about another tenth wasn’t super weird.)

The scaled said 175.8. What?
I moved it to a different tile. 177.4
Shifted it a little. 176.0
Moved it again. 175.8 four times in a row, moving it between.

I’m taking the 175.8 since it came up consistently, but it’s so frustrating! I would have been happy with 175.8 if I hadn’t gotten the 174 first. I feel like I gained 1.8 lbs rather than losing 1.6. I wish I could be confident that my scale is deficient, because I could buy a new one and move on, but I think my uneven tile is really the culprit. However, it does seem like once my scale gets a fix, it keeps putting up that number, even if I put each foot on a different tile and stand off-center. I don’t know. What if I buy a new scale, and it says I’m 180 again? I’ll cry.

Some time today, I’m talking to my boss about volunteering for my company’s new office in India. I am incredibly excited and scared about the idea, but I’m trying to keep everything in check until I know more about what they want and what they are offering. (ie, if they just want a project director to start the office and hire/train local staff, I am not a good candidate. In the same vein, if they're not providing any relocation assistance, I'm not interested.) Also very nervous about the discussion itself, because I’m basically telling David I don’t want to work under him anymore. (Which is true. I started managing my own projects in 2006. It’s very frustrating to be someone’s coordinator, but I can understand they want me to prove myself here.)

Mumbai. Just.. seriously. Mumbai, India. I've dreamed about travelling the world forever, it seems like, but it's always seemed so inaccessible. I feel like I'd be crazy to pass up the oppurtunity, but, at the same time, how do you prepare for something like this? How do you decide to sell off your life and move halfway around the world with a family and no safety net? (All right, my imagination is running away again. Must wait until I have more details! Calm down, chick.)                       

Bits and Pieces

I finally updated Java at home and changed my profile picture to a normal one from the horned Halloween one. The new picture was taken a couple of months ago at my cousin's birthday dinner, which was at this wonderful Irish pub in (one of) the trendy area(s) of Dallas. I had a fabulous Shepherd's Pie, and used many, many weeklies. I wish I could eat Irish food more often. I may experiment with finding a way to make a healthier Shepherd's Pie.

We got Japanese for lunch, and I got a grilled salmon bento box with steamed veggies instead of tempura. It still racked up a lot of points, though, so I need to be careful the rest of the day. The scale (I've been peeking..) has been coming down all week, I'm hoping for a good weigh-in next Tuesday.

Wednesday, I doubled up my workout and did my treadmill class and yoga. I was running way late, so I ran all the way across the parking lot to get there and then turned my speed up a little too much. I had to slow way down for one “hill” to work out a cramp in my calf, but I nudged it back up after and rocked it on the directionals. (By the time we were done, I was about ready to fall off, though.) Then, in yoga, I really focused on pushing deeper into the moves and keeping my core muscles tight. I've been a little sore, but mostly I feel great. I even managed an Up Dog for the first time ever, and did more of the flow sequences without modifications than I could before.

This morning, I couldn't find any clean jeans, so I dug into my "too-small" stash. Three pairs were too tight (though ALL zipped!), but I found a pair one size down that were okay for work. While I was hip deep in my closet, I saw my jewelry box and decided to try on my rings. Tight, but not uncomfortable! I'm so pleased to be wearing my wedding ring again.

The scale might be stubborn, but the NSVs are really adding up! Work might be killing me slowly, so I'm really pleased I'm holding it together on the weight loss front.

Work, now in new and exciting stress flavors!

Work has been extra stressful in the last couple of months, due to several projects all wanting March install. Budgets range from small half mill projects to one monster that has that much still to be ordered and over 170 POs already placed. The small one has a finnicky designer who requires extra special care and attention and the monster has special flame rating requirements for Boston building codes. The latter could easily fill my days all by itself. (Then there are 2 more, but nothing special beyond the rush.)

And today, the PO system (never swift) is slowing way down and occassionally locking completely. UGH. I'm frantically trying to get things entered in the periods of functionality, and then just sick to my stomach when it's in its crash mode.

I made myself a cup of tea (Earl Gray, splenda, and fat free half & half) to try and chill a little. And then my boss scampers on back (seriously, he was excited) to announce someone's brought in chicken and sausage biscuits, "And they're still warm! Mmm-mmmmmm." (He'd consumed half of one right in front of me by this point.)

So instead of beating on the server with a hammer while simultaneously eating both a sausage and a chicken biscuit, I'm taking a blog break and breathing deep while I sip my tea and pretend it doesn't matter if I don't cut another 70 POs this week. Triumph tastes better than 11 points (each!) of bread and unidentified animal parts, right? Remember the burritos, woman!

(I'm seriously obsessing about this. Maybe I can eat half, eat lunch and hour-ish late, skip my afternoon snack and push hard at my workout tonight. That's not unreasonable, is it? Am I justifying a bad decision?)                       

Procrastination

I was browsing my favorites folder just now, thinking, "Hmm, nothing else to look at. What now? I was going to go work out at 9. What time is it now?"

I looked at the time. It was 9:24. "Huh. Well, let me just click this, and maybe read that one thing.. Hey! I know, I can make a post about all the things I'm doing to put off working out!"

*brain sputters, clunks, groans and grinds to a halt.*

Un-freaking-believable. I'm going to go work out.

Eaten by the Ether

All right, I don't have enough time to redo the post I just lost when the combined efforts of the space heater in my office and the one next door tripped the circuit breaker, so here's a summary.

-I was very bad and let my "inner fattie" convince me slacking on tracking was fine for a few days. Not only fine, but deserved! Necessary, practically. Yeah, bad girl. Gain this week!

-Despite (temporarily) losing the battle for skinny supremecy, I'm still down for the holidays overall. I'm moving into 2012 with progress on the books, and that's good! I'm starting Week 9, further into a weightloss related plan than I've ever been.

-I bought Fit Plus for my Wii off Craigslist, since borrowing my mom's every so often isn't enough, and she's not inclined to give it up permanently. I like the changes "Plus" added and it was practically free, since I used cash from Christmas.

-I missed my workout class last night, because I forgot about it. Shame on me.

-I rearranged our home office on Sunday, stirred up much dust, and gave myself a sinus headache that made even labor pain (the part of it I experienced) pale and look away. I started crying getting Kate ready for bed, it hurt so bad. (Bobby took over.) And then I felt terribly guilty, because Katie thought SHE made me cry. Bobby told her she didn’t do anything, but she still came and sat with me and petted my face saying she was sorry she hurt my head. Sweet girl.

Happy New Year!