First Blowup

I haven't said much so far about my job, but it definitely affects my (un)healthy habits. I work in hospitality procurement. I purchase furniture, lighting, carpet, wallcover, and accessories for hotels, oversee development and approval of custom items, and then monitor production, shipping, delivery, and installation. It's stressful. It gets pretty crazy sometimes. Vendors lie and underdeliver, clients expect miracles, and designers are just bat-sh** crazy.

Usually I deal with my stress all right. I vent with other purchasers about whatever crazy is on my plate that day, I send b**chy emails to the vendors most deserving, and when it gets really bad, I dream and sleeptalk about work. (Bobby once tried to wake me up early for a little bit of pre-work fun, and I told him he needed to give me an invoice first.)

Because I'm in the business of writing (really) big checks, vendors like to curry favor with offerings of food. We're super busy, so we don't really appreciate people coming in all the time to solicite work and talk about their "awesome" product and how it's better than everyone else's. They assume if they hand us a cookie first, we'll kick them out a little slower. (Sometimes it even works.) Christmas time is the worst for this. We get gift baskets of edibles like whoa.

Holy side tangent! I really don't want to admit what I did last night, I guess. Yesterday was pretty rough. Several things combined in the last couple hours of my day to transform me into a raging inferno of fury. And I was STARVING, omg. I don't know if crazy rage burns calories or what, but I don't remember the last time I was so incredibly hungry. I sent Bobby forth (he deserves a medal for even speaking to me last night, let alone giving in to my demands) and he returned with The Box from Raising Cane's.

And then, I ate it. ALL of it, every bite. 28 points. 1125 calories. I'm definitely feeling some guilt this morning. I'm glad it didn't make me sick, but, jeeze! Talk about a weak moment! I did feel better afterward, at least. Less so this morning.

Tonight I'm going to the gym, so I'll burn a bit off. And I'd done well all day and hadn't used any weeklies (maybe because it was only Tuesday...), so I'm going to move on. Still. Just shaking my head at myself. Was that really the best way to deal with my anger? No, but I didn't have any better ideas. I need a plan for next time, because I deal with a lot of jerks and the bullsh** gets pretty deep. It will definitely happen again.

AND I forgot my breakfast and apple today. /headdesk