Scale Trouble

Yesterday, my scale rebelled. After a tough week, I dutifully hopped aboard early in the morning and waited while it scolled a dot dot dot across the screen. And then, up popped 173.6. What? How can that be? I lost 2.2 lbs after behaving very poorly? I waited a couple minutes and tried again. This time, I got 178.4. Gained over 2 and half? A third number had me walking away in disgust.

Unfortunately, I don't think it is my scale's fault. I have tile throughout my house, and it's all textured for maxium scale decalibration uneavenness. I'm a little frustrated. This morning, it gave me a low number again, and then a slightly higher one 4 times in a row, so that's the one I'm taking. It's a 1 lb even loss, putting me at 8.2 lbs total.

I felt really good after my workout last night. I read an article yesterday about not holding the rails on a treadmill (which I have been, the incline makes me feel about to fall off). So I slowed it down and let go last night, and wow, does it make a difference. I walked nearly a mile less and over a mile/hour lower than I have been, but I felt like I'd done double.

I felt good this morning, too, but decided to pick up the tape measure... and the book I used last year, when I was doing P90X to lose weight. When I did my fitness test, I weighed 166.2. I can't believe I gained so much in a year! This whole time, I've been deluding myself that at least I wasn't gaining weight since then, I was maintaining.

I've felt so good about how much I've done, and I haven't even reached where I was when I "started." I consider that my start, because I was holding a little baby in my arms, nursing in the wee hours of the morning, and an infomercial popped on and flicked me in the forehead. It was my "ah-hah." I did really well for about a month, and then I broke my foot. It was pretty bad, and I didn't go to the doctor because of our financial situation. It took about 2 months to heal, and I gave it a little extra because I was afraid it would still be weak and I'd hurt it again. In that time, Katie started crawling, and I weaned her (so feeding everyone got more complicated). Suddenly, working out at home was impossible. I tried a few different ways, and it just didn't work.

Once I paid off the bills from my C-section, I joined a gym. It was a lot harder doing the P90X routines there, though, and I kind of drifted around trying to find my way and didn't really see results. But at least I wasn't gaining, right? Ugh. Then I started working again, and gave up completely while I adjusted to the new routine. But I'm back at it now, working, running Bobby's business, raising a child, eating healthy, AND working out every week 3 days or more. I'm freaking super woman. (And if I say it often enough, I'll believe it, right?)

I don't know why this bothers me so much. I had forgotten I was in the 160s so recently. I knew I'd lost weight with my pregnancy.. I guess I just blocked it out when the number started going back up again. 54 lbs to lose just seems like a much bigger number today. And the 8 lbs I've lost from 183 seems more like 9 lbs I've gained from 166. (Not to mention the weight I lost while doing P90X. I'm not even going to look at how much it was.)

I really need to get my head back in this. Not think about how it's 9:45 and I'm starving. And there's still hurdles to jump, I've got a pre-open-heart-surgery party, a birthday party, and a cookie exchange this weekend. I have apples in the fridge, I know how to handle this. Then just one day at a time, no need to borrow trouble. I need to be strong.