Miserable Day

Yesterday was just flat out rotten until the evening rolled around. I really did not want to go to my workout, and put it off as long as possible. Once I was there, however, I sweat and grouched and complained and pushed through, and once I was finished, I felt better. I went home to a home cooked meal that was fresh and balanced and delicious and enjoyed the rest of the night with my family.

Today, I can feel my mood trying to sink down again. (Like when my boss told his boyfriend this morning that he will be surprised if he's still here come summer.) I'm trying really hard to hold on to my cheerful morning, but mostly that means I'm chatting and joking around, not getting as much done. The work is just one disaster after another though. Every call and email is more bad news.

I'm thinking more and more about what else I could do, but I did look in other industries when I decided to return to work, but the response wasn't encouraging. I was very reluctant about coming back into hospitality procurement, because I knew how high stress it is. I even knew this company had a history of overloading personnel, because my mother worked here before the economy slumped. She quit and went to work for the state making a third of her salary and laughs when I tell her about my day. But she could afford the year off it took to find her current job. I can't.

We have plans for getting out of our house and making a move back west possible, but it's a long road there yet, and our house value just keeps sinking. Days like yesterday make me very impatient to get wherever we're going to go. Kind of like weightloss...!

In the interest of full disclosure, I ate 3 doughnuts and a Chick-Fil-A Spicy Chicken Sandwich meal yesterday. Used well over double my daily allotment of points. I know that will hurt me on the scale Monday. But I got into a size 14 skirt this morning, and it wasn't too tight to wear in public. (Started in size 18s. Remember, though, I'm short. Size 14 looks good on 5'9", but I've still got a ways to go at 5'2".) It might be slow, but I'll get there. I just need that confidence to spill over into other areas of my life now.