Waves

Once you've decided to be an adult, there's no going back. (Though I use the word "decide" loosely.) It's stressful, and sometimes I think I was crazy to give up carefree living. Most days I realize immaturity carries its own stresses, and I think I prefer mine. Motherhood is another of those no return thresholds. I've wanted to be a mom so much over the past couple of years that I ached with it. I was horribly jealous of fertile women and had to tamp down my need to lash out at those who were pregnant. Now that it's happened, I'm incredibly nervous about the prospect. It was so unexpected after trying for so long and being assured it wouldn't happen without medical intervention. I know that's a familiar song to being singing, but that doesn't lesson my surprise.

I have been trying to decide if I want to find another job. I think it's probably for the best, but I've been so exhausted these past couple weeks. Not to mention the very unfun nausea. It could be worse; I could be puking, but I'm still not very happy. Still, it can't hurt to look. If I could find something low stress and temporary, that would be ideal. I wonder how much being pregnant will hurt my prospects.